Friday, November 13, 2009

A Sacred Skinny Dip

"It is a solemn thing for a soul to grow ripe" - Emily Dickenson

A solemn and beautiful thing indeed. A very wise woman that I know passed this quote around a room that I happened to be sitting in a few days ago. These words have be sunning on the porch of my brain ever since, warming into new thoughts each passing day.

When I first read the word "solemn" in great Emily's quote, my initial connotations took me towards feelings of sadness, of heavy-ness...as if this word were a black suit with no smile lines on its face. But as I've been pondering solemnity more, the starched suit has been replaced with more of a sacred skinny dip into a midnight lake. A quiet, invigoratingly personal journey towards living more fully. Solemn has now begun to sound sacred, deeply meaningful, necessary and rich...

I am sitting in my home this late morning, pondering how magical this week has been. And I don't mean magical as in flawless, or without tears, but the kind that reminds me of being fully alive in my own skin. Thankfully tapping into the ruddy earthiness found within the changing seasons of a soul. Embracing that new wrinkle on my face without disdain, because it carries stories with it. Remembering the richness of truly FEELING - of losing and learning, of old chapters becoming new ones as the elements ripen experiences...of feeling the beautiful growing pains of a heart expanding over time. It is a sacred thing, indeed.

I am saying goodbye to my 26th year in less than 24 hours, and stepping into year 27 very excited for what is to come. I have a feeling this is going to be a big year of soul ripening in every way. Thanks for coming along the journey with me. Hope you have a great weekend.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Fast-Forward...

Hours melted to days which then melted to weeks on the road. I cannot tell you how much FUN being on the Ten Out Of Tenn tour was. Each city had it's own flavor to take in, with it's own creative brand of people to enjoy, and we TOT'ers played each night like it was our last. As a bohemian family, we watched Fall dust over the South, Midwest and East Coast during this picturesque time of year. I have countless fond memories walking city sidewalks with the crew, in search of coffee or that shop all the locals said we had to go visit. Scarves. Chill in the air. Dinners out together. New friends made out on the road. Charlotte, Richmond, Chicago, Boston, New York City and more... memories that will last a lifetime.

And then, as if we all sat down to watch a movie in fast forward, it all suddenly came to a halting end. Finishing a run of nearly 20 gigs together, invisible credits rolled as we sang our last show in Nashville. We all savored the evening with as much non-teary bliss as we could muster, singing out a little stronger...looking at each other with fondness and the awareness that this was it for now. Hugs all around afterward. Promises to see each other soon over coffee dates, double dates and future gigs together.

We all have hit the ground running, it seems. For example, Andrew Belle is back up in NYC playing gigs, Madi Diaz is driving around town with a respected producer picking out the site for her amazing music to be recorded, KS Rhoads is back out on the road with Erin McCarley, and I have spent the last week writing 9-14 hours a day with David Archuleta...not to mention shoring up last minute tweaks for a studio EP plus a music video shoot for The Civil Wars. We have all been having fun, and we've also been hopping!

But today is one of those rare days where quiet called out over the chaos. The hum of the bus is no longer around, no vocal booths calling out today to be sung in. And so the non-noise begins to speak...reminding my mind that I need to be left to wander and soak in thoughts. To reflect...to pray. And in this peaceful moment, I am thinking intently today of my friends whose lives are in the midst of drastic change. One of my dear friends, Missy, was very recently diagnosed with thyroid cancer. She bravely went into surgery to have her thyroid and some related glands removed just yesterday. My other friend and kindred spirit, Brie, is being given pitocin as I type for her overdue baby boy inside. It is a wondrous, curious juxtaposition: one friend literally having death removed from her body, while another friend is pushing life out of hers.

I am sobered and hopeful today, reminded that life is so layered...so complex...so precious. I'm reminded to keep things in order of true importance even amidst all this busy-ness. To remember...to reflect...to listen...and to love. Because it can all go by in fast-forward if I we don't stop and look around. Hope this note finds you well wherever you are on this Fall Wednesday...

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Time Continuum...

I had to ask somebody today what day of the week it was. "Monday? Really?" We haven't even been out on the road a week for Ten Out Of Tenn, and yet it feels like time has been suspended in some strange black hole. This tour is truly summer camp on wheels. Full of adventure, fun and already rife with stories to tell the kids one day.

Inside this strange time continuum exists communal living on a whole different level. Bunks stacked 3 high that we jokingly call "dream cocoons". It's socks in the hallway. It's watching Back To The Future 2 for 3 straight days in a row (because one of us falls asleep every time). It's inside jokes and ridiculous humor. It's the white glow of a dozen Mac computers. It's taking turns showering in different cities, if you can get a shower in at all. It's canon ball diving in hotel pools after a show. It's 1am pizza. It's folding each others' laundry. It's press-on tattoos. It's running in the rain together. It's loading-in and loading-out of each venue, each of us sharing the load. It's The Square Room, The Reux House, The House Of Blues. It's tambourines, drums, lights, kid pianos, xylophones, guitars, new faces, cables, set lists, pianos, and linking arms each night for each show.

I'm loving being out here right now with each amazing person, and I'm thankful for all the people that have come to our shows. We have more to go, more cities to see!

It's 2:30am, and Back To The Future 2 is playing...AGAIN. I must away to join the quoting frenzy...

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Ten Out Of Tenn - literally.

My red suitcase is packed. My yellow baby glockenspiel is in my bus bag. My heart is a little blue thinking of being away from my good husband for awhile, but there are neon adventures awaiting me on the open road...

I am joining 9 unique, creative and ridiculously talented artists on Volume 3 of the Ten Out Of Tenn tour (check out the link to see who the other artists are!). We, a traveling pack of eclectic, independent musicians from Tennessee, are linking arms - playing for and with each other on stage each night - to create a one-of-a-kind show.

Our rehearsals (lasting 8-10 hours a day) over the last few weeks could have been absolutely exhausting under normal circumstances. Instead, all the hours spent practicing in a windowless space were full of laughter as much as hard work. Each person seems to have their own flavor of humor, quirk and musicality...and I have a sneaking suspicion that this tour is going to be a memorable one.


We are loading up tomorrow morning and hitting 25 cities around the country in the next 4 weeks! It's hard to believe it, but the Ten Out Of Tenn tour this Fall will (very ironically) mark my 10th year of professional music and travel. I feel too young to say I've been doing this a decade! But alas, 'tis true. It doesn't matter how many years I've been doing this, though. I still have butterflies in my stomach about heading out tomorrow. In this new era of music for me, I feel like I'm starting fresh all over again. I'm excited about this tour, about what playing live together will be like, about what I am going to learn, and about the new faces I will encounter along the way...

I'm also excited for you to get to know the Ten Out Of Tenn crew and their fantastic music. Come out to some shows, and bring friends! Check here for show dates and tickets, and I'll see you soon out on the road...

Monday, August 31, 2009

This Porcelain Vantage Point

I am laying here in my pajamas at 2:45 on a Monday afternoon, in the very Northern CA house I grew up in. This might sound enjoyable, except for the fact that I've been WWF body-slammed by a menacing stomach flu for the last 48 hours. Life recently for me has consisted of ice chips, grape flavored Pedialite, chicken broth and a makeshift bed inches away from the toilet.

I'm still trying to look on the bright side of things, even from this porcelain vantage point. It could always be worse, right? I DID realize something yesterday: there is something strangely comforting about getting sick when you're back in the home of your childhood. I've not only had wonderful Nate, but my Sassy Mo & Dad, to be Florence Nightingale in my time of need. They have all been beyond fantastic. What more could a girl ask for?

I'm also thankful this bug hit me AFTER my whirlwind week in LA, or else I would've missed out on some epic moments there. I had a photo shoot with the talented Reid Rolls...


I dined with precious people, actually took time out and hit Sycamore Cove in Malibu for an afternoon with friends...




...and performed my first-ever show at Hotel Cafe. The show at Hotel Cafe went better than I'd even expected, and the place was packed! It was a brilliant week in LA, indeed.

Photo by Ross Reyes

photo by Kojii Helnwein

The songwriter's conference I flew into NorCal for starts this evening, but I don't have to really dive in and start teaching until a couple days from now. Until then, I wait for my body to fight this enemy virus, and dream of having enough energy to actually take a shower. :) Hey... I still get to be in my pajamas on a Monday. : )

Here's to all of us looking on the bright side a little more today, wherever we're at. I hope this note finds you well...

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Whimsy & Mischief in British Columbia

25 people, from different parts of the country. Actors, graphic art designers, movie producers, inventors, film directors, counselors, poets, musicians, all of us vagabonds of sorts. All traveling to a remote oasis in the Canadian Rockies. We all took planes from our varied cities. Then we drove rental cars. After that, we crossed the border and began to hear "about" pronounced "abooot" in spades...and we we knew we were getting closer. Add some ridiculously fresh sushi for dinner, then a hostel for some quick sleep, and back on the road again. Driving just a bit more, we found the coast, hopped a ferry, cars and all. Then we drove some more again, (we - the loopy, traveling Nashville crew), singing ridiculous songs and laughing until our voices hurt. We finally jumped on a water taxi after nearly 7 hours of travel en masse, and skuttled closer towards the Princess Louisa Inlet. We wound our way through azure waters encircled by stunning mountains that left us all silent. Our eyes drawn up and out beyond the horizon. And, in the distance, a small wooden speck gradually grew into the cabin oasis that we'd been looking for...

This is a home that belongs to a very special man. An owner of a West Coast law firm, but by no means your average lawyer. A man dedicated to selflessness, whimsy, jaw-dropping generosity, and unrelenting optimism. He and his one-of-a-kind family built this oasis specifically for rest and rejuvenation for those curious enough to come all this way. And Donald Miller was kind enough to invite all of us to share not only in this serene locale, but in the magic of Bob and his family for several days.

Before this trip, I was lower than I can remember being in a long time. Life can just be so messy, can't it? When things pile higher than you feel you're capable of tackling, when prayers feel stale, when tectonic plates shift and grind internally, etc. This place was a giant deep breath. Waking up to seals poking their sea-soaked bodies out of the water to see what we were up to, sipping a cup of coffee while overlooking a snow dusted mountain, fresh thoughts to ponder unhindered by time, a place where it all could stand still, etc. Words can't describe how badly I needed this trip.

One very wise thing all 25 of us were challenged with the first day we arrived was to unplug and to pay attention. It is amazing to think of all the static noise we have in our brains on any given day...and it took nearly another 24 hours until the cacophony of sounds inside began to fade away for me. I was pleasantly relieved to find that I could finally hear the sound of my own heartbeat a little more. It begged the questions: What had I been ignoring? What had I left unsaid? What had I been missing?

So I unplugged. I climbed rocks, jumped off cliffs into the chilly blue depths, lounged in warm sunlight, had long talks with new friends, laid on the lawn for hours watching white hot shooting stars. I hid behind huge waterfalls, got happy green bruises adventuring in nature, sneaked away to solitude by the shoreline. And that's when I opened my journal, paid attention even still further, and finally let the tears come...
The call to be present, aware, whimsical. It can be so quickly stolen by how busy each day can get. But the poetry, nature, community, and stillness of this trip reminded me how important it is to be quiet and listen.

I wish I could have scooped you all up and taken you with me to this spectacular place. But even if I didn't fit you in my suitcase, I hope today you can find some way to be still. Sit for just another minute. Grab a magnifying glass, and look at something closely. Write down that itching thought in the back of your mind. Take a second to breathe a little deeper...to listen to your own heartbeat again.

Have a great rest of your weekend...

Monday, August 3, 2009

Berry's Words In Lieu Of My Own...

I have felt very quiet lately. Life can do that to us sometimes. I find, quite simply, that I don't have many words right now. While I cease to find words of my own, I have found myself craving Wendell Berry, a favorite poet, novelist and thinker. Perhaps these words can speak for me:

“When despair for the world grows in me, and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life...may be -- I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought or grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.”

Here is a poem of his that I found this morning that I love...

What We Need Is Here

"Geese appear high over us,
pass, and then the sky closes. Abandon,
as in love or sleep, holds them to their way,
clear in the ancient faith: what we need is
here. And we pray, not for new earth or heaven,
but to be quiet in heart, and in eye,
and clear. What we need is here."

Hope these words nestle into your heart in the ways you need them to today, too...